“It Is Nasty, Stop”: Women Share 50 Things Men Do That Are Total Turn-Offs
I have a friend who recently entered the dating game after being in a long term relationship for more than ten years. The stories this woman has told me are wild. From a man accusing her of catfishing him for not disclosing her race, to another expecting her to foot the entire bill and drive him home – on the first date. She’s seen and heard a lot. It appears she’s not alone. According to this Reddit thread, there’s no shortage of men behaving badly but believing they aren’t. Redditor RedemptionKingu racked up thousands of comments when they asked Women of Reddit: What’s one thing men do that they think is attractive, but actually isn’t?
The OP told Bored Panda they’d seen the question before directed at men. “I wanted to see what the answers would be like when I switch the genders,” they said. “There were lots of answers like ‘being an alpha male’ which didn’t surprise me, but some stories and anecdotes were interesting and surprising.” Keep scrolling for some of the worst things a man can do when trying to impress a woman. And don’t miss the chat we had with dating coach Blaine Anderson about how to improve your game.
If you pull your smoothest move, thinking it’s going to help you score. But all you get is a sigh of disgust. The problem might lie with you, my friend. Blaine Anderson is a dating coach and founder of “Dating By Blaine”. Anderson recently did a survey of more than 2,000 American women to find out what they considered “creepy.” Here’s what she discovered…
The number one creepiest thing you can do to a woman is stare at them. More than half of the respondents told Anderson they’d experienced intense, creepy staring in the past 12 months. To be fair, some men might not even realize they’re doing something wrong. For them, Anderson has this advice: commit to what she calls the ‘two look max’ rule. Basically, it’s normal to look at someone that crosses your path. And it’s normal to sometimes give them a second glance. But that’s exactly it. A glance. Which means a look that lasts less than five seconds. And don’t do it more than twice.
Anderson agreed to speak to Bored Panda and give some advice to the men who think they’re cool when they are in fact, ice cold. We began by asking her what things men do that they might think are attractive but really aren’t.
I can’t stand when a man looks at you and does like a little licking his lips thing that just grosses me out. You’re not sexy. It is nasty. stop.
“Many guys incorrectly assume that talking about money — particularly boasting about how much money they make — attracts women, when it’s actually a huge turn-off to anyone but extreme gold diggers,” Anderson told Bored Panda. “Talking about money is a turn-off because the underlying psychology is approval-seeking. If a woman senses you’re trying to wow her with your finances, all it actually tells her is that you’re not on her level.”
Anderson is now happily married. But admits she had her fair share of “braggy” men during her dating days. “I’ve had multiple guys try to tell me how much they make on first dates. Super cringe. A guy once invited me on an expensive Europe trip on a first date,” she said.
The dating coach added that men should pay close attention to the cues they get from women. “If you’re meeting a woman for the first time, the key signs she’s not attracted to you all have to do with how much attention she pays you. If she’s not making an effort to engage with you in conversation, and especially if she’s turning away from you or physically moving away from you, it’s a sign she’s not attracted to you.”
“The way you turn the situation around is by moving on. You probably can’t change a woman’s mind about you — at least in the short term — but you can always find someone else you’re attracted to who will give you a shot!”
Talking about how sore i’m gonna be the next day. Some guys for some reason think they’re doing sex the best when they’re hurting their partner (outside of consensual kinks), and I don’t think that’s attractive or good.
“The key mistake I see men make in dating is wishful thinking. Many guys, especially less experienced guys, will misinterpret friendliness for romantic interest,” she revealed. “So, the key red flag men need to look out for is unavailability. It doesn’t matter how much a woman texts you, or how flirty she is when she texts. If she won’t meet up with you in-person for dates, you’re wasting your time.”
“Focus less on dating, and focus more on upleveling yourself. Once you get your life into a place where you’re proud of yourself — because you’re proud of your career, and you have real friends, and you’re taking care of your health and fitness — dating tends to take care of itself,” advised Anderson. “Carve out a couple hours a week to spend time in places where women you like spend time, and start conversations! You don’t have to ask anyone out, just be friendly, and you’ll be surprised at how much you’ll learn, and how much progress you’ll make.”
When they give advice I didn’t ask for.
Put down other men to try and elevate their image to me. It does the opposite to their desired effect.
Anderson also suggests turning eye contact into conversation. If can’t you can’t stop staring, start speaking. Go over and introduce yourself. She says staring can be creepy because the starer’s intentions are unknown. And adds that by introducing yourself in a friendly way, you can avoid problems, and make new connections. Here are some pick-up lines for when you need inspiration. And here are some some savage comebacks you might encounter if your flirting falls flat.
She had the following advice for women, “If a man is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, I’d recommend calling it out (assuming it’s safe!) then moving on. So, for example, if a guy is sending you messages that feel creepy, it’s OK to say something like, ‘Hey, I’m sure you don’t mean to make me feel this way, but I feel uncomfortable with this conversation. Please don’t contact me again,’ and then hit the block button.”
Wearing too much cologne, if I can smell you from across the room you’re doing it wrong! It should act as a small enhancer of your natural smell, so that *if* someone does get close to you they won’t have to hold their breath.